Writing blog is like writing a diary.........but the only difference is that it is public. long time since i wrote a diary. i used to. but cant any more. lost the habit of writing with a pen or pencil.....very tough now. but i suppose that was also an interesting thing. interesting thing is that i never read what i wrote. i have been thinking of starting to write something. as i said before i have become very aimless. need some focus. need to start something in which i can achieve some perfection. may be start attending a dance class, or start studying again......like doing MBA...... i always wanted to do that. need to be something that is my ambition but it is not in what i am doing. i am a lot distracted for that at the moment.
wanted to write my memories or what comes to my mind but that is also tough. what is not tough actually. i am just writing whatever is coming to my mind. nothing is making sense to me at the moment so am thinking may be if i write it down may be it would.
Well i want to write how i chose the name sunshine. it is the name i chose for myself in 1992. I remember i had gone for a trek with a group called "Art of Living". There i met Peri Chicring, Cathy Perdum and there was another gentleman who led the trek to the heights of Manali. That is how Manali became my favorite place. The blue water is still there in my memory which i saw in the stream. it was so clear that you could see the stones at the bottom. both sides of the stream were covered with ice and we were crossing the same carrying our backpacks. how can the memory of something so far of be so fresh. it is caught somewhere in my mind. i am glad for such moments.
We had gone to Manali in a bus.when we reached Manali we stayed there in a guest house for a day. we were about 10 to 12 people there i think. i will have to check my diary to see how many of us were there. i remember a few. we had breatfast in an open kind of a place. lots of sun around sitting in open and lots of pine trees around. first we moved around the place,and then had reached that breakfast place. After we have had the breakfast we played a game. everybody was asked to chose a name for themselves based on the quality of the word, thing, any quality you wanted to acquire. it was then i had chosen my name to sunshine. :) i wanted to acquire the qualities of sunshine, the warmth, the light, everybody craves for their share of sunshine, o i wanted to sunshine and i chose that name for myself. everybody chose their different names. we were to rmemeber each other's new names and call each other by new names. first everybody was to tell each other what name they had chosen and why. Then two people held a sheet of cloth in between and one person was to tell the name of the person who would come behind that sheet. this was the process of remembering the names. interesting, hilerious and fun. i remember the name sunder, open hand, rest i will have to check from my diary.
i would like to pay my respects to komal who was a part of the group and she was kind of a soft, easily hurt people. she stuck to me during the whole trip. i was more of a friend to her in need at that moment cz she did not have much support. she came to my home also later. i remember she also got me some gift also.... a bag. i came to know later on that she committed suicide. i was sad about it and regrted that i was not there to help her in her pain cz when she came to my place i was in my own world. may be she was more of a friend to me than i was to her. may be my perception was wrong. I hero worshipped another friend of mine but found her priciples were different for herself and for others. she hurt a lot of people in the trip including komal, me, cathy etc. i dont think i let it affect our friendship but i dont know what she was expecting.
anyways i am gald that i met some nice prople who walked with me for some time of my life.
